Category: Bible studies

From time to time people ask me why I wear two “wedding rings” – one on the third finger of both of my hands. The reason is simply because I travel, and from time to time find myself in cultures that are different from my own. In some parts of the world (and more common in Florida where I live), a simple band on the third finger of the left hand signifies the person wants you to know they are married. Originally, that so-called “ring finger” on the left hand was derived from a common English belief during the Tudor Period (made plain some time in the 16th-century) that the left third finger was connected to the heart by a vein (before the anatomy studies of Da Vinci and others were better known). The wearer of a ring on that finger was connecting his marriage to her heart in the form of a fiancé or a husband. Incidentally, historians note that commoner men didn’t start to wear wedding rings until much later.

Many unaffected by that belief, some sociologists report, had a different tradition. In countries like Poland, Greece, India and Colombia, the wedding band belongs on the right hand, not the left. Orthodox Christians and Eastern Europeans also traditionally have placed the wedding band on the right hand. Jewish couples wear the wedding ring on the left hand, even though it is placed on the right hand during the marriage ceremony. In a Muslim tradition there is no difference on which hand the ring is worn but it is often found on the right hand. In China, some traditional couples wear wedding rings on opposite hands, with the bride placing her ring on her right hand and a groom placing his on his left.

No matter how we do it, the ring isn’t a marriage and doesn’t guarantee anything. Some young ladies, I understand, put on a wedding ring so that they won’t be bothered by men while traveling or working. In many, if not most places in the world, the ring is a symbol that is understood to mean the person is tied to a covenant of marriage. The ring not only has significant meaning to the wearer because it is tied to many memories; it marks one’s status in public places. Effective symbols do that. They mark, identify, classify and represent important things in small ways.

This isn’t a jewelry seminar, but we are going to be talking about symbols in this lesson, so it is worth exploring why they are so important to us. Symbols can proclaim a complicated message in a simple way! Sometimes they can publicly clarify our stand on something, equal to a placard we may hold at a rally. Consider for a moment how important symbols were to God in the unfolding of His Word to men. Each time God made a covenant in His Word, He included a symbol with it to remind us of that truth. With Israel’s covenant He commanded circumcision. With Noah’s covenant for the world He offered the rainbow as a sign of His faithfulness never to inescapably flood the earth again. With the Law came the symbols of Sabbath to mark the sons of Abraham through Isaac and Jacob as a special covenant people. It appears God like pictures, symbols and iconography, because it brings great truths to mind in simple forms.

The Apostle Paul taught the early church about symbols, and even instituted some along with the other Apostles. As a result, there are really three different types of symbols that have become part of church life.

• First, we have those special symbols instituted by Jesus for His church, and they are called “Ordinances”. In some church circles the term “sacrament” is used, but clarity on that is for another lesson. Suffice it to say that symbols of the church instituted directly by Jesus are things like baptism and communion.

• Second, there were what I will call “small ‘o’ ordinances” or symbolic rites that were taught by the Apostles because they fit the time and culture in which they were preaching. They were authoritative for a time, but not specified to be an “all places, all times” ordinance for us like those Jesus told all of us to observe.

• Finally, some symbols are what can only be termed as “local symbols” or local traditions that a church is a place may institute for a short or long term, for the purpose of teaching specific lessons of truth needed in that place. The church was empowered by God to “bind” or “loose” (in the terms Jesus used) practices for particular purposes. Some churches call these “Christian service standards” and regulate behaviors not forbidden by God for specific reasons.

Our lesson is about a symbol of the second type, those taught by Paul and the other Apostles, but not extended to every culture, time and place. Here is the truth…

Key Principle: The body of Christ was designed to proclaim truth both in preaching the Word of God and in modeling the principles of that Word. Some forms of modeling may change, but the truths do not.

In writing to the Corinthians, Paul had much to say by way of instruction. In the early chapters, he told them that they had “misplaced their loyalty” by loving the men who served Jesus more than the message of God they represented (1 Corinthians 1-4). Next he told them they had “misplaced affection” when they held the value of love higher than truth. Even further, they had “misplaced standards” when they revered the standard of the world’s opinions over that of the Word (1 Corinthians 6). From 1 Corinthians 7 to 16 Paul sought to answer questions posed to him by the church. They asked about marriage, divorce, remarriage and celibacy – and Paul responded in 1 Corinthians 7. They asked about how to live rightly when they couldn’t all agree about things we called “grey areas” – and Paul addressed those behaviors in 1 Corinthians 8-10.

Still in that kind of discussion, proper understanding of Paul’s opening words in 1 Corinthians 11 require us to remember the context. Paul made clear that his weaker brothers and sisters were more important than any of his liberties. Nothing was worth hurting one who was weak. He wasn’t bowing down to the legalists that wanted to enforce their opinions as the Holy Spirit’s guidance, but rather making the bold claim that he would not put himself above a believer who would fall back into sin because of any display of his behavior, period. It wasn’t worth it. He closed chapter 10 with the words that should echo through our lives:

1 Corinthians 10:31 Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 32 Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God; 33 just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit but the profit of the many, so that they may be saved.

Encouraging Imitation

He followed up that idea with the command that believers at Corinth follow his example, and put others before themselves. He wrote:

1 Corinthians 11:1 Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.

This wasn’t simply Paul snapping the whip and making rules. He was trying to make clear that God used MODELING, not just TALKING. It occurs to me that where we are in the culture of our time, modeling is being reduced in importance. Subtly, we are beginning to believe education is about simple transfer of information, when the essential component of modeling has long been the better way to learn. Consider the way the masters of the past brought in young apprentices, and had them work alongside of others and eventually create their own “masterpiece” – the consummation of the hours of labor in learning. That piece defined their career and was often the best they were able to do. That happened, in part, because people recognized the value of life on life learning.

May I say this openly, so that we are clear on the meaning of the passage? Your Pastor isn’t supposed to be just a teacher you hear on Sunday. He is to measure up, as best he is able, to an example of a believer. He is to learn from his mistakes and not excuse his wrong behaviors. He is to live what he preaches and preach what the Word says. When he fails, he will need you forgiveness and love, but he will need to again be diligent to step up to the task of an example. Part of the reason I have so enjoyed being a part of the people of Grace is this: you have allowed me to grow and helped me along the journey. I am not the godly man I hope to be, but with my Savior’s help, I am striving to discipline my walk so that I might not be a poor example to you. I try to do that in work, in the use of my mouth, in my careful behaviors with others, etc. I don’t want YOU to be led wrongly, and I feel the weight of modeling – but that isn’t wrong. It is as it should be.

Encouraging the Use of Models

1 Corinthians 11:2 Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the traditions, just as I delivered them to you.

Focusing on the Positions of Responsibility

Paul took some time to answer questions about what men and women should wear on their head in a worship or prayer meeting. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, and from the standpoint of the coverings or lack of coverings it really wasn’t. You have to remember that symbols protect truths, and it is the truths they protect which do not change. Cloak coverings by themselves meant nothing – but when they represented a truth they were important for that reason alone. The central truth Paul wanted to make clear in the model of head coverings was this: God ordered creation and ordered the family. The placement of authority and order of responsibility wasn’t a cultural thing; it began with God’s design. A pagan or atheist society will vehemently oppose this Biblical truth: God made man and woman and gets to say what we are “for” and why were made the way we are. Let’s take it slowly and digest the truth of the passage. Paul began:

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.

Headship is the fundamental truth, and it is opposed on many fronts today, both outside and inside the church. What is absolutely clear is this: the Father is the ultimate responsible party for all things – He is the ‘head’ of all else. This is made clear at the end of verse three. All of humanity lives in a Patriarchal system with God as the Patriarch. We all came from Him. In Roman terms, He is the “paterfamilias,” that is, the reason we are all a family. He deserves all respect and there is no one higher. He holds the right to life and death of us all, and He answers to no one else. He is not challenged by the brightest atheist mind, for He made all of us and knows what we cannot know. To Job He made clear that He knew He was and is uncontested as Leader of all.

Second to that truth is the fact that God has a Son, the Anointed One called “the Christ” Who acknowledged the Father as His head, and Who represents the Father in all things before men. All men will ultimately kneel before Him, because there is no man who is His equal. He is head over all mankind, and has been given His authority by the Father. Jesus made it clear in Matthew’s record:

Matthew 28:18 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

A few decades later the Apostle Paul wrote of God’s Son:

Colossians 1:16 For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. 17 He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. 18 He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.

A truth of the headship of Jesus is that He takes responsibility to meet the needs of His people and to do it at all times and in all ways to honor His Father.

The final truth using this term “headship” and defining the lines of responsibility in 11:3 is this: a woman is to see her man as her head in terms of responsibility before God for the family. She does not normally have the same responsibility before God that her husband, and before that her father, has before God. She was not placed in that position because she is unable to lead, but because God created the order and made clear that confusion of His order would bring consequences. If men stopped leading, women would lead. If they did, disorder in the family would follow in the generations that followed.

Because this is so convoluted today with emotional terms like “chauvinist” and “feminist”, we need to remember some things that are very important here.

Don’t forget that Paul believed Jesus was absolutely EQUAL with God in value, a point made clear in his words about Jesus in Colossians 1:16-17. The issue of responsibility is NOT an issue of value, but of culpability and ultimate accountability. Both men and women are equal in the fact that they both have an equal measure of God’s image and likeness. Neither men nor women are inferior to the other in value, but they do not share equal responsibility in the home as God designed the home to operate. The distinction is not found in value, but in the principle of headship.

Let us define “male headship” in marriage as God’s placement of the “primary weight of accountability” to lead the family in His design and for His glory.

The family isn’t two-headed in accountability; it has a head. Be careful here! Don’t confuse headship with some medieval scenario for forced domination. This behavior occurs when a man asserts his will over a woman without regard to her Divinely-endowed value and ignorant of her God-given rights. God does not behave as despot to His Son. The Son gave Himself for the church. A man is told to be like the Son in his behavior to his wife.

The Shamefully Covered Head

Because of the headship principle, Paul had to make clear that Roman men should remove the head covering associated with their freedom and show their head, as a slave would. This was not an easy teaching for his time when he wrote:

1 Corinthians 11:4 Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying disgraces his head.

In our modern approach, many students of the Bible forget to search our why a bare-headed Roman male would be a problematic command. Caught up in our own issues, we don’t read the letters in their historical context. For a Roman, the pileus hat was a representation of freedom as familiar as the “Statue of Liberty” may be today. Since nearly half the Empire during his time were slaves that dreamed of becoming free, the well-known “hat of freedom” was a symbol of pride to Roman men. Yet, Paul wanted men to take off their hats when they came to worship and pray, or they would DISGRACE JESUS, their spiritual head.

Much has been made in Christian theology of the freedom we have in Christ, as well it should. Paul explained to the Galatians that they were no longer slaves (doulos) in the sense of our family privileges, but now are sons (Gal.4:7). He later explained the salvation of Onesimos (an ‘on the run’ slave) as purposeful, in that he became more than a slave, but also a brother (Philemon 1:16). Truly, salvation changes our approach to God as adopted dear children. Who can doubt the vast privileges of our place as God child?

The problem is, that with all the talk of freedom and position, we have lost the balancing truth that we have also become slaves of Christ. Paul told the Colossians: “It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.” (also from the term for slave, or “doulos” , see Col 3:24).

Consider this: Paul began letters to the churches repeatedly with the term that shows he thought he was a SLAVE of Jesus Christ (cp. Romans 1:1; Galatians 1:10; Titus 1:1). James (in James 1:1), Peter (in 2 Peter 1:1) and Jude (Jude 1:1) identified themselves of slaves of Jesus as well. Paul told Timothy that he was to become one (2 Timothy 2:24). His common view was that other servants of Jesus were slaves that served in the household, side by side – as in the case of Epaphras (Colossians 1:17) and Tychicus (Colossians 4:7). John used the term of fellow slave (sundoulos) for angels as well (Revelation 19:10, 22:9).

The Apostles didn’t make up the idea of being a slave to Jesus.

The Master made clear to His disciples they were to consider themselves as such. They were not above Him (Matthew 10:24) and their servant hood was a mark of following Him well (Mark 10:44). The Savior praised the servant that did the Master’s work well (Luke 12:43). In that vein, Paul deliberately “made himself a slave” (1 Corinthians 9:19) to allow the Master to win others through his obedience. He urged believers to become a slave of Jesus as the Savior had done for men (Philippians 2:7).

One of the most startling differences between the Roman system of slavery and any that preceded it was this: many Roman slaves hoped for freedom, and after years of service, many were granted manumission (they were set free). Freeing a slave was called manumissio, or literally “sending out from the hand“. The symbol for the ceremony was the wearing of the pileus, a brimless hat that took its name from a soft felt like cloth. The hat was proudly worn to show the former slave was now joined to the social class of the libertini. The covering was a profound Roman symbol of freedom. A covered head was a man who now made decisions for himself. Only now does the truth unfold in Paul’s words of instruction to the Corinthians:

1 Corinthians 11:4. “Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying disgraces his head… 7 For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.”

The clear truth is this: we are not free to live our lives as we please- but we have been freed from darkness to please our Master with our lives.

We must remove our proud hats of self-determination when we come to worship the Master who left Heaven to save us. My concern is NOT that I am seeing more and more hats in church- but that I am observing more and more pileus wearing in the heart. Believers have become more and more servants of self. Many of us have forgotten the call to serve the Master, and replaced it with the call for the Master to serve us. This is not Christianity; it is self-worship – the worship of our wants, desires and cares. As Paul reminded: “… he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave (1 Cor. 7:22b).

The Shamefully Uncovered Head

If you keep reading past the command to men, you reach the commentary on the responsibility of women in the congregation to recognize and celebrate the God-ordained headship of the home. Paul offered an explanation

1 Corinthians 11:5 But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is one and the same as the woman whose head is shaved. 6 For if a woman does not cover her head, let her also have her hair cut off; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, let her cover her head. 7 For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.

What Headship Means

First, it means that believers base much on taking the Creation story seriously. The Bible is the rule of definition for even those most intimate and important relationships of life. There is a reason we are completely resistant to accepting an alternative “science” view of our origins, and pushing back on the idea that Creation was a mere myth. Paul wrote:

1 Corinthians 11:8 For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man;

The story of Creation in the Bible sets the tone for God’s order in the world. It explains the appearance of evil and sin. If there was no Adam, then Paul’s statement that sin appeared by one man is false, and death is not because of sin, and salvation through another man (Jesus Christ) cannot be trusted.

Now look closely at the argument of verse eight. Woman came from man according to the Scripture. The order of Creation was this: God created man, and from man came woman.

Let’s be clear: The rejection of the literal Creation account from the Bible is the rejection of the basis of the order of the home. Headship is argued first and foremost from the presupposition that Creation by God as stated in the Scripture is absolutely true.

The name “woman” – that very designation is to remind us of that fact. When Scripture placed limits on her direct responsibility, it did so on the basis of her “indirect” creation; that is that she was a creation from another creation. That may mean little to the modern mind, but “faith” is seeing things the way God said they are – and believers that belittle God’s definitions lose incrementally lose their faith and utter confidence in God’s order. The implication of this truth is this: God holds a man in headship of a home because of the order He made – not because of the greater capability of any one man in any one situation. The rule is: God holds the man accountable because that is how He made things. That indeed is affirmed in verse nine, where Paul wrote:

1 Corinthians 11:9 for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.

Note Paul’s argument went yet a step further. His second step is that woman was assigned a specific functional role of her own. He made clear the very stated REASON for the creation of the woman was to BE A HELPER. When women take on headship because something has gone wrong, the danger is that she will lose completely the design and feel the design of God has somehow been dismissed. The end is confusion in society about God-given roles, and ultimate the definition of gender roles as God made them.

Again, don’t think we are belittling woman any more than we are belittling men when we say they were created to serve the Lord. In our mind, value and position are indelibly linked. In God’s economy, when I perform the service for which I was made, I am MORE of what I was made to be, and that increases my fulfillment in Him. The value of both man and woman is rooted in His image in them, not in their position of responsibility or productivity in life. A person with severe physical and mental limitations can bring God much joy but produce little when that one trusts God for his or her life. Our value is not in our position, nor our ability – it is in the faithful fulfillment of our role.

It is because of this, many women of the west in the modern era are freer to live life on their terms, but are NOT living with a greater sense they are fulfilling their God-given roles in life. Confidence in many has been eroded, and faith has been weakened by their slow but increasing resistance to God’s original designs for them. They are like the highest quality screwdriver trying to act like a hammer – working at what they were not designed to accomplish. God didn’t make them to be the protector of the home, the leader of the family and the guardian of the spiritual life of their children. Often, because of passive or sinfully behaving men, they felt pushed to stop helping and to do his job. In some cases, the man totally left his position, and that forced her into the role. The end can easily be a woman who forgets the original design as she toughens to do what must be done, and children who grow up in a world that erodes the very notion of gender distinction. It is such a world we are in now. For a woman left uncovered, the caution is to weather the storm but cling to the original design. Don’t ignore it.

Before I leave these comments, let me be very clear: I am not blaming women for this plight, nor men. Each situation is different, but many have commonalities. We are all sinners, but there are specific and serious warnings in this passage that are difficult for some to hear. When a man leaves his wife, Biblically he leaves her uncovered before God. She is forced to take a role she was not to have in the home – that of headship. If you are such a woman, hear this caution: Don’t think that in the working world and the roles you have taken on, that God now simply dismissed his design. In my experience, much of the time, it is from that very group (women who have been forced to take the role of headship) the pressures of feminism and demands to place women in positions of ministry set aside by God for men have most come. Let me say this carefully, sensitively and yet wholly Biblically: God made woman of equal value. She has the stamp of His image in her. Yet, she was not made for the headship of the home, nor of the church. She was given vital gifts to help God’s people and to raise children, but she must not think that because she was forced to go into the working world to make ends meet for her family, that her ability in the world translates into God’s design being altered. It does not. I submit that a society that confuses that basic idea of headship will confuse the God-specified gender roles assigned to both men and women. Soon, even believers will acquiesce to the idea that such roles were merely cultural, and the words of 1 Corinthians 11 will sound entirely foreign.

If you take the time to survey the Bible concerning the role of a woman specifically, you will not that in 1 Corinthians 14:33-35, Paul made clear that God has an order for society, and that we create confusion when it becomes disordered. He wrote:

1 Corinthians 14:34 The women are to keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, but are to subject themselves, just as the Law also says. 35 If they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper for a woman to speak in church. 36 Was it from you that the word of God first went forth? Or has it come to you only?

We will deal with the specifics of the passage later when we get to that chapter, but notice Paul’s appeal for women was to be calm and not try to lead the meeting, but rather to “deliberately place themselves in rank beneath the men in the church assembly” found in the word “subject”. Note that SHE does this, he does not compel her beyond expecting her to obey the Lord in all things. Note the appeal to the church was on the basis of the Torah’s call for subjection. It was from the Law the idea of subjection and spiritual headship. The obvious question is this: What did the Law say?

The story of the Creation was from the Torah, and the notion of her purpose as a help-meet came from the early chapters of Genesis. At the same time, the Law regarding the headship and responsibility is found in Numbers 30, in the section concerning VOWS. If we took the time to read and study it, you would find God told a man that He needed to be careful about his vows to the Lord. It also contained specific words that allowed a woman’s vows to God to be set aside by her father (if she was unmarried) and her husband (if she was married). Here is the point: God placed spiritual headship over her so that she would understand that she did not have direct spiritual accountability unless something went wrong in her life (such as a divorce by means of an unfaithful husband or her loss of him in death).

In Titus 2, God made clear that older women had the primary responsibility in the church to teach younger women about their role; specifically that of subjection to the headship of their husband found in the design of God. Back in 1 Corinthians 11, Paul made clear that churches of that time and place were to show headship by a SYMBOL – the covering of a woman’s head in worship times. He wrote:

1 Corinthians 11:10 Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.

Those words “because of the angels” should bother us. Apparently, angels as still subject to the rebellious tendencies they had when one third left God’s side to join the Adversary, the father of lies. Angels are watching us. God’s headship principle as applied to our homes became yet another echo of acceptance or rejection of God’s order and right to declare how His creation works.

It is based on an understanding that believers see interdependence of men and women as Paul wrote in 11:11-12, but all were subject to God’s plan and design. He wrote:

1 Corinthians 11:11 However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God.

As a “shout out” to the people of his time and place, Paul made it clear that Romans thought a man with long hair was wrong, while a woman’s long hair was her glory. This is a very old idea in verses 13-14. That wasn’t a science statement, but a clear cultural value of his time. Romans believed it, and asking them to make a judgment call was a rhetorical way to show they were all one in that idea.

1 Corinthians 11:13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

Paul made clear that all the churches in the Roman period practiced that symbol of head covering for women and covering removal for men. Men may have felt that removing their pileus was a shameful thing – but the need to stand for the truth was more important than the need to find comfort in their culture. He wrote:

1 Corinthians 11:16 But if one is inclined to be contentious, we have no other practice, nor have the churches of God.

This is something we must teach anew. Christianity isn’t built to fit INTO cultures; it is made to reshape the pagan corruptions back into the God-designed way.

Today, that means recognizing that in the plurality of the home, headship is necessary, It requires believers to understand that men and women are precious, equal in value, and different in responsibility of the home and accountability before God in that context. It demands that we embrace something as simple as gender roles from the pattern of Scripture. Masculinity and femininity are “God things” and not simple roles assigned by culture, though culture may play a role in how they show themselves. Finally, believers need to recognize that when God’s order in society is rejected, confusion ensues.

Remember, the body of Christ was designed to proclaim truth both in preaching the Word of God and in modeling the principles of that Word. Some forms of modeling may change, but the truths do not.

Men need to renew what being a man means in God’s eyes. What does it mean to be responsible for the spiritual welfare of your home? What does it mean for you to protect your family, not just from a thief or attacker, but from Satan’s influences? How do we intentionally teach such manliness to our young men, who are being trained to believe the notion of Biblical headship is a chauvinistic throwback to some tribal society, rather than a God-planned way to live in the home? Let’s also inquire: “Do our men understand what removing a cap of freedom and putting on slavery to Jesus Christ really means?” Spiritually speaking, we need to stop serving ourselves and get busy acting like we are owned by our Master. To not recognize this is to be contentious with our Lord.

A woman who has been damaged by passive and ungodly behavior of a man needs to measure how much she has let that influence her understanding of headship. Is she now living disrespectful of men in the church because of her personal pain? Does she recognize the design even if sin has ravaged how it has worked in her life? I am not arguing for women to put hats on their heads, but I am arguing they need them in their heart.

Dear ones, we must learn to love God’s design, even when it has been stripped away and mis-characterized by a lost world. They don’t get it. They want what they want, and they don’t want HIM. For the believer, HE is our prize. Consider this story. In his book The Pressure’s Off, psychologist Larry Crabb tells this story from his childhood:

One Saturday afternoon, I decided I was a big boy and could use the bathroom without anyone’s help. So I climbed the stairs, closed and locked the door behind me, and for the next few minutes felt very self-sufficient. Then it was time to leave. I couldn’t unlock the door. I tried with every ounce of my three-year-old strength, but I couldn’t do it. I panicked. I felt again like a very little boy as the thought went through my head, “I might spend the rest of my life in this bathroom.” My parents—and likely the neighbors—heard my desperate scream. “Are you okay?” Mother shouted through the door she couldn’t open from the outside. “Did you fall? Have you hit your head?” “I can’t unlock the door!” I yelled. “Get me out of here!” I wasn’t aware of it right then, but Dad raced down the stairs, ran to the garage to find the ladder, hauled it off the hooks, and leaned it against the side of the house just beneath the bedroom window. With adult strength, he pried it open, then climbed into my prison, walked past me, and with that same strength, turned the lock and opened the door. “Thanks, Dad,” I said—and ran out to play. That’s how I thought the Christian life was supposed to work… God shows up. He hears my cry—”Get me out of here! I want to play!”—and unlocks the door to the blessings I desire. Sometimes he does. But now I’m realizing the Christian life doesn’t work that way. And I wonder, are any of us content with God? Do we even like him when he doesn’t open the door we most want opened—when a marriage doesn’t heal, when rebellious kids still rebel, when friends betray, our business fails, when financial reverses threaten our comfortable way of life, when the prospect of terrorism looms, when health worsens despite much prayer, when loneliness intensifies and depression deepens, when ministries die? God has climbed through the small window into my dark room. But he doesn’t walk by me to turn the lock that I couldn’t budge. Instead, he sits down on the floor and says, “Come sit with me!” He seems to think that climbing into the room to be with me matters more than letting me out to play. I don’t always see it that way. “Get me out of here!” I scream. “If you love me, unlock the door!”

People want what they want, and if they were honest, most don’t want HIM; at least, not until the face death. As believers, that must change as we consciously learn that time with Him is the prize. Otherwise, why look for Heaven if you don’t want God’s presence in your life now?

In my younger years, I got the opportunity to learn about shepherding by following a shepherd through the Judean Wilderness for a short time. That was many years ago, but one striking image remains fixed in my mind – the sheep “pile up”. Sheep are followers, and when one falls in a crevice trying to reach was appears to be very nice grass to feed upon, other sheep follow the first into the tight crevice, eventually causing a “pile up” of sheep – nose to rear end – badly stuck and in need of immediate help from the shepherd to be set free. When I read in the Word that we are like sheep, that image sticks in my mind. We are followers, that is the single best reason both polls and marketing work in American culture.

In more recent years, one of the things I have learned to take joy in that I did not when I was younger is watching little children. I have developed a huge soft spot for babies and little ones since I became a grandparent. Watching them discover things, process them and learn how to do things is nothing short of a total joy! What I have noticed is in many ways they are very much like those sheep I saw long ago – they follow. They learn by watching those who are going before them. It is obvious that most people grow up watching other people, and take their cues from others who appear to be older and perhaps wiser. That is how we learn to speak, walk, ride a bicycle and act in social situations.

My work now includes being both a Pastor and discipleship “pattern builder”, and something has become very clear to me from the study of a few words that came from Paul’s quill and were recorded in 1 Corinthians 10. I openly confess this particular truth has bothered me ever since I discovered it in the Scripture. Even more, I have found that most believers don’t seem to recognize that it is a Biblical truth. The lesson that comes from the first half of the chapter may surprise you as well, because it reveals three ideas.

• First, Paul made clear that most BELIEVERS aren’t actually following the right path, even though they began a walk with Jesus. That makes it hard for those who are learning to follow by watching those who are already supposed to be followers.

• Second, the same text revealed that most believers fall into the same four traps believers have fallen into for centuries. The four traps are idolatry, immorality, deliberate defiance and negativity – none of which are the call of God in following the Savior.

• Third, God clearly indicated that no follower of Jesus MUST fall into the four traps – there is always an alternative way to navigate.

Let’s summarize the key to our lesson from 1 Corinthians 10 in this way:

Key Principle: The path to overcome temptation is the uncommon one – not the path of most Christ followers. It can be found in God’s Word by following the escape provided by His Spirit.

Paul argued that believers must do three things to navigate our walk successfully: Understand the powerful help God provides us, take special note of the danger zones that trap most people, and finally utilize three tools to bypass the traps (or get out of them if we have been caught in the past).

Before we go any further, here is the sobering truth: We won’t please God following everyone else, and that seems counter-intuitive because that is how we learned most everything else.

We must recognize that we are directly responsible for our own intentional spiritual growth, not those around us. Even in discipleship and equipping environments, we must understand that most are following the common paths that do not ultimately honor God (10:1-5). These probably seem like hard words, but let’s start by celebrating some things God provided to help you successfully follow Jesus…It all began with God’s help.

Understanding the Powerful Helps from God

Paul opened with a reminder of God’s provision for a follower’s success…

1 Corinthians 10:1 For I do not want you to be unaware, brethren, that our fathers were all under the cloud and all passed through the sea; 2 and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea; 3 and all ate the same spiritual food; 4 and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the rock was Christ.

Look at four advantages believers have been provided to follow Jesus, based on what God provided His people in the past. (10:1-6a):

God’s provision began with the direction of God: God gave His people direction as He led them: With the cloud, God directed His people, guiding them through unknown territory. (10:1). Out in the unfamiliar surroundings and far away from familiar comforts that came with the predictability of a slave life, God’s careful direction was a welcome and needed extension of His care. Read about the trip through the desert and one thing stands out about ancient Israel: people who are removed from their comfort zone tend to whine incessantly. Ultimately, whining comes from belief that God has brought us in a direction that is uncomfortable and unclear!

Our lives have been made better by warning lights and caution signals. Pastor Daniel Shroeder wrote:

My car has a yellow light that turns on when the gas in my gas tank level gets down low. With another car that we had, that meant that you had plenty of time to finish what you were doing and then fill up with gas some time later. The car I drive now doesn’t work that way. I know this from experience. When the yellow light turns on, I had better fill up with gas soon or it may not start again. It took getting stranded twice in order for me to learn that lesson. Do you think I’ll repeat that mistake again? Not if I learned my lesson I won’t. (via sermoncentral.com).

When we build directions, indicators and warning signals into our life, they help direct us and keep us from harm For ancient Israel, God pulled them from one place to another by means of a cloud. It offered direction, just as God offers direction to people today. You may think the cloud was more overt than the Word of God, but that isn’t really the case. With 1189 written, tried and tested chapters of God’s warning indicators, direction signals and beckoning lights (not to mention the Spirit within that makes things clearer than we would have without Him) – there is plenty of direction we have for which ancient followers of God would have longed.

Second, there is the rescue of God: God gave His people rescue when He intervened in their capture and destruction (10:1b). Imagine passing through the Sea of Reeds with the wind whipping and the water piled high beside you! There was simply no way to outrun Pharaoh’s chariots, so God stopped them. There was no way to get the children of Israel, together with carts, animals and house wares across the water, so God blew the water back. Though we may not believe it, God provides more protections than what we can see and calculate. You and I see the accident, not the many times God stepped in and saved us from one! God is there before us and knows where the traps and mine fields are before we arrive. When He has a task for you – He knows how to open the waters. You and I are indestructible until we are finished what God has intended our lives to accomplish. There is no force that is our God’s equal. Nature does not confound her Creator. God CAN make a way.

Third there are the voices God provides a follower: God provided leadership all along the way for followers to publicly choose to follow as the leaders followed God. The people followed Moses in the desert, and were publicly known to have done so. Though Moses was filled with inadequacies and personal flaws (which were made clear from his own mouth at the first meeting with God in front of a burning bush), he was part of God’s provision. We must remember that although no leader is flawless, it doesn’t mean none are worth following (10:2). God provides leaders and if they follow His Word, they are worth following. The people were “baptized into Moses” in the text. That wasn’t a reference to a religious ceremony, but rather a reference to “public identification” with Moses. The word “baptizo” was used as a figurative way of showing identification, as we baptize to identify ourselves as followers of Jesus today. Here it was used as a play on words to show they were the “people of Moses” in one sense.

Fourth, there are God’s periodic intervening miracles: God has always provided by in miraculous and unforeseen ways (10:3-4)! Water doesn’t normally come from the rocks and the materials to bake bread don’t normally blow in with the wind – but the people in the wilderness can testify they did just that! God provided water and manna by His own hand, because He cared for the people when they could not care for themselves! He did it because He is good, and because He loves His people. He did it because He wanted them to know Him better.

Keep this in mind: the destination for a follower of God isn’t a mystical promised land, but an intimate walk with the God of the journey of life. This is the tragedy of immoral thinking – it is small thinking because it makes this life and its comforts the most important thing, the gauge of all other things. It places our immediate satisfaction the ultimate key to our happiness. That isn’t the truth – because our ultimate happiness is in His arms!

Let’s remember this: The more immoral a society becomes, the more it will frame immediate and continual comfort and happiness as the most important things, the very goals of life. That kind of thinking values the life of a mother, but cares little about the extermination of the unborn when conceived in an unplanned way. That kind of thinking emphasizes the immediate happiness and ‘freedom’ of two adults over the value of caring for the children in their household in a stable home. Immoral societies look at their world as consumers, not as builders. The more immoral, the more short-lived and small thinking one becomes. Dear ones, there are many believers today who live a life of immoral pleasure and think too little of it. We were born of the Spirit in new life to think of each moment as an opportunity to show Who God is, not to simply serve ourselves and feed our desires. We must not live like one who has no Lord and no eternal purpose.

Perhaps for that reason, Paul introduced a shocking truth: Though God has provided for followers to be successful, but it is equally true that most don’t really follow Him very far into the wilderness of life!

When Paul made the point that there were leaders provided by God that believers could and should follow in verse two, I was perfectly comfortable – because it fit the equipper model. When I read verse five, however, I am much less comfortable, because it makes clear that each believer is forced to learn to follow the right voices, and they won’t be the most popular or widely acknowledged ones. He wrote:

1 Corinthians 10:5 Nevertheless, with most of them God was not well-pleased; for they were laid low in the wilderness.

Doesn’t that shock you? With MOST believers of the past wilderness experience, God was not pleased. They started with God, following His direction, experiencing His rescue, knowing His powerful provision and being led by His appointed leader – but those things weren’t enough for them to finish well.

I am still stunned by this truth from the Word. The plain fact is MOST BELIEVERS DON’T REALLY FOLLOW GOD.

Walk in any church – even the best of them – and you will find many who began a journey with God, but they are now walking in disobedience to Him. In some churches they aren’t even embarrassed about it, because embarrassment sounds so “judgy”. When did it become a GOOD THING to openly defy God and feel fine about it? Even worse is the truth that they both KNOW it and they choose not to CHANGE it. This is what makes learning to be a disciple by watching other disciples such a problem in the church.

The record of their walk was not merely to journal their failure, but to warn us the same failures would be common among us if we didn’t change from the way they walked. Paul made that clear in verse six:

1 Corinthians 10:6 Now these things happened as examples for us, so that we would not crave evil things as they also craved.

In a way, the Word of God’s record of their journey provided us two additional resources that can help us as we follow Jesus.

First, we got an opportunity to learn by Biblical EXAMPLE instead of the much more painful EXPERIENCE (10:6a).

Second, we saw their end, and it can become a DETERRENCE or a “wake up call” that allows us to avoid their end (10:5b). We can have the blessing intended in a walk with God – but we must intentionally change course.

It was 1804. Napoleon Bonaparte stared with frustration across the English Channel toward his nemesis. Behind him was the invincible Grande Armee, nearly 200,000 crack veterans, all straining at the leash to crush the hated English. Everything was ready for the invasion: the transport barges, the escort fleet, ammunition, cavalry, artillery, ambulance wagons, even field bakeries. Every last detail had been meticulously planned. It was merely a matter or crossing the 28 miles of water in a single night’s journey. Yet for month after month Napoleon paced the beach at Boulogne, hesitating to act. Finally, after over a year of waiting, he suddenly turned his huge army around and marched it into the heart of Europe. The plan to invade England was laid aside forever. The thing that had stopped the great conqueror at the height of his career was the Royal Navy, Britain’s “wall of oak.” Out of sight, just over the horizon, it was nevertheless always foremost in Napoleon’s doubts. And though the future Emperor’s own fleet outnumbered the British, he dared not test it. That is the power of deterrence. The true effectiveness of a strategic system is in the mind of the enemy. Source Unknown.

Now that we have briefly looked at the provisions from God, and clear recorded examples of those who went before us, we may rightly ask: “Why do so many fail to continue to follow God in a way pleasing to Him?” Paul explained that many haven’t identified the TRAPS a follower of Jesus must face…

Identifying the danger zones that ensnare

Paul made clear the common snares believers who live displeasing to God fall into. They include idolatry, immorality, stubborn defiance, and negative whining (10:6-10). Each are dangerous traps. The first one is found in verse seven:

1 Corinthians 10:7 Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink, and stood up to play.”

Idolatry is placing something before God as our chief source of joy, happiness and contentment. The people were brought to Sinai by God, but decided to craft their own religious symbols and worship in a way that was pleasure-filled and comfortable – rather than wait to hear from God and follow Him. The truth is that with all the provided advantages from God, we can still easily ignore the symptoms of slipping into the hole.

It begins insidiously when we hunger for things that will satisfy us now, but dishonor our Master and leave us in guilt (10:6b-7a). Idolatry isn’t about a carving or bowing before a statue; it is about making something our chief joy that isn’t our Creator. It is about indulging in things and then chasing the feeling we got from indulgence. Often, as our wilderness companions of old, we indulge in things that start honestly, but lead to blatant sin (10:7b). When faced with the truth, we cling to the indulgence instead of clinging to God.

Immorality is when we use that which God made for one purpose for a wholly selfish one – strictly indulging our own pleasures. Paul wrote:

1 Corinthians 10:8 Nor let us act immorally, as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in one day.

When we live outside of God’s protective fences, we begin performing acts that violate what He told us to do, and we begin risking our lives and testimonies in the process (10:8). We don’t think about the long term consequences and we move blindly ahead. I am thinking of a story I read long ago that expressed this idea well:

“In November, 1975, 75 convicts started digging a secret tunnel designed to bring them up at the other side of the wall of Saltillo Prison in northern Mexico. On April 18, 1976, guided by pure genius, they tunneled up into the nearby courtroom in which many of them had been sentenced. The surprised judges returned all 75 to jail.” From Campus Life, September, 1980.

Stubborn Defiance is when we know exactly what God wants us to do in some area of life, and we deliberately defy Him. Paul wrote about it:

1 Corinthians 10:9 Nor let us try the Lord, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the serpents.

Can you see how defiance worked in the children of Israel? They played games with God, thinking they could trick Him into believing that we are being faithful when we aren’t (10:9). God isn’t dumb, though many a believer has played the games thinking He is. Testing God isn’t wise, but it is frequent among His people!

Are you being defiant in an area of your life where God has made it completely clear what you SHOULD be doing, or what you should be refraining from? The honest truth is that many of us have faced this before, and we know the hooks of sin are harder to break free from than the uninitiated may believe. Serpents hurt, main and destroy, but we invite them into our lives when we play with God’s right to be first in our lives.

Negative Whining is when we act as though God is either not paying enough close attention to us, or He isn’t acting justly toward us. Paul recalled the Israelites:

1 Corinthians 10:10 Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer.

Many of us have followed Jesus with an angry and complaining heart, acting as though others have it better because they serve a better and more accommodating master (10:10).

Imagine that you’re a child in Chicago and there is a widow who lives across the street, who can’t do a lot of heavy lifting. When winter snows come down, your parents tell you to shovel her driveway. Even if you don’t want to do it, because you are a child, and you must obey your parents, you really have no choice. You have to shovel the snow whether you like it or not. The whole time you shovel, you grumble and fuss because you don’t want to do what you should do – obey and serve. Can you go to the Lord that night and claim that as an act of obedience… Not hardly!

There they are… the traps that can ensnare us. We can put something before God, and that becomes idolatry. We can place feelings and pleasures before God and that becomes immorality. We can kick against God’s conviction and that becomes defiance. We can follow Him with a sour heart and complaint-stained soul, and that is negativity. These traps have long existed. We are all familiar with the feel of them closing on our legs and ensnaring us. What now? The text continued…

Three Ways to Avoid Traps

Cautiously heeding the Scriptural examples of the past, and honestly embracing our own weakness in the present can help us look sensibly for God’s provision of small escape hatches to abandon the common way of living (10:11-14).

First, we must note the examples God gave us, and recognize they are intentional lessons for our benefit, not just stories of antiquity. That is why 1 Corinthians 10:11 explained: “Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come.”

Second we must be realistic about ourselves, and be careful to TAKE WARNING from the stories and be careful to measure what we learn from them. For this reason, Paul continued with these words:

1 Corinthians 10:12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.

Failure to embrace our own weakness will lead to arrogance, and that is the edge of the hole. God told us all of the stories of Scripture to offer us ways to avoid falling! (10:11). How can I effectively use these lessons?

We cannot arrogantly believe we can do the same things they did and not get the same result! “Take heed” means we need to watch the guys that fell in before us. If I want to navigate the danger it will begin with telling myself the truth – I am in danger. To avoid the fate of those who fell, I will need to use different tools, different methods, and have a different approach! (10:12).

Not everyone is open to change, even when the outcome is obvious: “You,” said the doctor to the patient, “are in terrible shape. You’ve got to do something about it. First, tell your wife to cook more nutritious meals. Stop working like a dog. Also, inform your wife you’re going to make a budget, and she has to stick to it. And have her keep the kids off your back so you can relax. Unless there are some changes like that in your life, you’ll probably be dead in a month.” “Doc,” the patient said, “this would sound more official coming from you. Could you please call my wife and give her those instructions?” When the fellow got home, his wife rushed to him. “I talked to your doctor,” she wailed. “Poor man, you’ve only got thirty days to live.” Source Unknown.

Third, we must not become unduly self-focused and feel we are somehow in a worse situation than many who went before us. It isn’t true. Paul reminded:

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man…

Our temptations and problems are the same as everyone else has faced. Maybe the specifics are different, but the feelings are not. I need to stop babying myself as if I have it worse than everyone else! My problem is a “common” one with others – we are all sinners and want to be selfish, period.

What is temptation? Seduction to evil; solicitation to wrong. It stands distinguished from trial thus: trial tests, seeks to discover the man’s moral qualities or character; but temptation persuades to evil, deludes, that it may ruin. The one means to undeceive, the other to deceive. The one aims at the man’s good, making him conscious of his true moral self; but the other at his evil, leading him more or less unconsciously into sin. God tries; Satan tempts. Fairbain, quoted in The Words and Works of Jesus Christ, J.D. Pentecost, p. 99.

Fourth, we must grasp the truth that God is FOR us, and He does make a way of escape from the power of your temptations. Scripture concludes:

1 Corinthians 10:13b “…and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. 14 Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.

Think of it like getting on a plane. We must LEARN to identify the emergency exits before the trouble starts (10:13b-14). We must learn, practice, identify and discuss using the escape ropes God provides. Don’t try to invent a new way, look for the ways God has already invented to free you from being trapped. These include timing, accountability, creative avoidance, etc.

Historian Shelby Foote tells of a soldier who was wounded at the battle of Shiloh during the American Civil War and was ordered to go to the rear. The fighting was fierce and within minutes he returned to his commanding officer. “Captain, give me a gun!” he shouted. “This fight ain’t got any rear!” Daily Walk, July 10, 1993.

He was right to lend a hand because the fight was enjoined on all sides – just like our fight to follow God and not be ensnared. We need each other, and we need to prepare constantly for the next wave of temptation to think like the world, compromise with the world and satisfy ourselves in the world. In the end, either the world will be your guide, or the Word will. Only one map will get you to your desired destination of satisfaction in Him.

Finally, think about all that you have heard. Consider your other options. If you are open to grabbing the examples of Scripture, and you will avoid giving yourself some “special break” because you feel your situation is somehow unique in temptation… if you will believe that God has provided an escape and look for it… perhaps you will see the wisdom in what God’s Word says. Paul finished the subject with these words:

1 Corinthians 10:15 I speak as to wise men; you judge what I say.

We must JUDGE God’s Word to be the TRUTH and to be WISE, or we will walk past its warnings (10:15). Paul offered words of the Spirit to them, but they could easily ignore God’s words and bury His truths in “advice” from many others. That is what SO MANY believers do!

We must let His Word rise to the TOP before we sink to the BOTTOM! Years ago, Chuck Colson warned:

According to sociologist Robert Bellah, 81 percent of the American people also say they agree that “an individual should arrive at his or her own religious belief independent of any church or synagogue.” Thus the key to the paradox is the fact that those who claim to be Christians are arriving at faith on their own terms – [often] terms that make no demands on behavior. A woman named Sheila, interviewed for Bellah’s Habits of the Heart, embodies this attitude. “I believe in God,” she said. “I can’t remember the last time I went to church. But my faith has carried me a long way. It’s ‘Sheila-ism.’ Just my own little voice.” Charles Colson, Against the Night, p. 98.

I must deliberately call you to be different than even the “Christendom” of our day…

The path to overcome temptation is the uncommon one – not the path of most Christ followers. It can be found in God’s Word by following the escape provided by His Spirit.

Christians should admit up front that the Bible never attempts to prove God’s existence or argue to place God’s position above that of man – it presumes those ideas to be true. Over the years of ministry, I have found that if one struggles with the first line of the Bible – “In the beginning God created the Heavens and the earth” – they will struggle with many concepts of the Bible. I would even argue, they will struggle with many of what have traditionally been framed as our “values” in life. They won’t see the values as important…

Stop and think about it for a moment. Isn’t it true that the highest aspirations of man were never met by the lazy, disorganized and morally ambiguous? In the annals of history, it seems clear that accomplishment – whether in the building of significant architecture, the accomplishment of some great feat in sports, some substantial development of economic wealth or the emergence of some position of significant leadership – all were accomplished by working against the natural tendencies of the body to simply fulfill temporary pleasures and keep the flesh happy in the moment. “Accomplishers” in life seem to consistently fight the not so subtle desires of their body in favor of more strict discipline and control. That discipline serves their value system.

Let’s admit it: we fight a body that repels work and we have to discipline ourselves to resist the urge for constant, instant pleasure and play. We know that inside ourselves is a natural tendency is to resist moral restraint when we would rather just operate under the “Do what feels good!” rule. Truly, the best accomplishments of human society have required sacrifice, discipline, restraint of personal desires and a sense of moral responsibility. A world without those qualities would have long ago devolved into a mess of self-serving abuses of substance and people – and it would have left little in notable accomplishments.

Here is the question: Where did these basic lessons of restraint come from in our society?

In the west, a great part of these values were unquestionably introduced through Judeo-Christian ethics taught from the Bible. We live in the benefits of that reality in our society. The pages of the Scriptures are FILLED with instructions on the importance of sacrifice, moral restraint and the necessity of discipline. It is not a waste of time for believers to publicly press that case as people desperately push to remove all remaining influences of the Bible out of our civic life. I believe that many don’t recognize what they are removing – and won’t until it is gone. They love the benefits, but don’t understand the underlying ethic from which they grow.

In relation to our own sexuality – the Bible offers much instruction – and rebuffs the idea of “doing whatever feels natural”. In the Bible the “natural” thing KILLS. Natural DEGRADES VALUES of the Bible. Natural is not to be trusted, because NATURE is still broken and awaiting its redemption. The strange this is that increasingly, we live in a world that is trying to remove these values and affirm the lowest instincts of their broken heart. They want benefits of relationships that can only be found in the values taught from the Bible, without the costs associated with discipline – but that formula won’t work. It cannot.

Applying Values to Human Sexuality

When God made the Heavens and the earth, the Bible recorded that He saw they were GOOD. Yet, when God made man, He designed him with an essential missing part. He said: “It is NOT good for man to be alone.” It took Adam time to name all the animals, and then Adam caught on to what God already decided – there is none like ME! God gave him a project to teach him a lesson – and human history got going. Then God made woman, and human history took a definite turn toward a new destination. No longer was Adam distracted by the desire to have one like him – a rib and a few moments in the Master’s hand shaped one that was more than pleasing to Adam. The choice for a partner was made. It was not man’s choice – for he had little knowledge and experience to design what he needed. It was GOD’S CHOICE – and God doesn’t make bad choices.

God chose one man for one woman and that same woman for that same man. He designed things to accomplish His purposes – biologically, socially and emotionally. He followed with the instructions to life. He said men and women were not designed to be the same – but were part of one another and were designed to be complementary. He said we were not designed to compete with one another, but to work together to serve His defined purposes in a family. That is the point of our study on 1 Corinthians 7…

Key Principle: The Designer knows the design, and His Word makes clear what it is.

God made the principles and standards clear – but it is up to the church to teach them and the believer to choose to live them. God’s truth will clarify our choices and clear the path to pleasing Him with our lives…

In our last time together we made several notes about this passage:

First, Paul was responding in the letter to an apparent question list sent to him by the church at Corinth. We attempt to apportion the text first by using the phrase “Now concerning” seen in places like 1 Corinthians 7:1 or 12:1.

Second, we looked at the reality that Corinth was a Roman city, under Roman laws. God’s timeless truths were not directly transferrable without looking at the specifics of the Roman situation, where we found that the text was directed at different groups: Married, unmarried, divorced and alone, divorced and remarried, widowed and alone, etc.

Third, we noted that there were FOUR kinds of Roman marriage, making the text more complicated than our own day in this regard:

• Contubernium: “tent marriage” mating of slaves for desired characteristics of a new breed. This was non-contractual as slaves were considered property.

• Usus: “common law marriage” accomplished by one year together. This practice was common, though not legally contractual.

• Coemptio en manum: “pleasurable service women” – the purchase of a woman from her father, particularly to fulfill his debt. This may be a “second mate” for the purchaser. In some cases, the woman was free to leave the house after several years of “pleasurable service”.

• Confarretio: a contractual public ceremony from which we get our own.

Finally, we noted before that Paul began the “Q and A section” with the issue of relationships – because that is the first and most pronounced area where values and character are revealed. We stated that:

1. The Bible defined marriage as one man to one woman in 1 Corinthians 7:2. Earlier the Bible allowed for polygamy for specific purposes, but that allowance ended with the change in human conditions. Revelation is progressive, so our rules are not Abraham’s rules.

2. The Bible defined the proper places and participants for sexual expression.

3. Believers were called to base their practice on God’s Word – not the culture, or even the LAW of the LAND.

4. Men and women are equal in the sight of God in regards to the practice of sexual expression, and need to consult one another and care for one another (7:3-5).

Let’s continue our look at 1 Corinthians 7:

Look back at the letter once again. Paul wrote to a local church that was located at the epicenter of a sensual lifestyle that stretched every value of the Roman Empire. In another study, we will look at what the situation was at that time, but for now, let’s summarize the problem this way: the first century was a time of social change and sexual revolution – not dissimilar to what has happened in my lifetime. The marriage bed was eroded during that time, and the family was slowly disintegrating as the century rolled on. Eventually, the family was broken and courts took over – as the strength of Rome dried up.

Into that climate, Paul wrote to the church at Corinth to answer their questions. As Paul continued in 1 Corinthians 7 he made rules for them in their situation. From those rules we extract a series of principles concerning this subject of relationships and sexuality that apply to our time and place. Let’s sample each principle, and pick out a key phrase form the verses:

For some people, marriage is the best option – even when persecution grows (7:8-9).

1 Corinthians 7:8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

If I could add a simple statement to make this clear, it would be this: “Know Thyself”: Paul makes the case that marriage is perfectly acceptable, and God’s normal idea for most people – but the time of persecution may make them think twice. Here, he cautions about denying the sexual desires exist and pretending. Some people were meant to be married. It isn’t simply that they “can’t control themselves” – but rather that they have this intense longing telling them they were meant for marriage, and denying that would be foolish and dangerous to their testimony in an environment soaked with promiscuity.

Before we go on, it is important that we not get the wrong idea about the idea of “burning with passion”. This is not what you would read about in a cheap Harlequin novel – it is more than just sensual desire. The old Greek notion was a phrase lifted from Aeschylus and Pindar – famous Greek script writers of theatre. In their works it meant an emotional reference for “to burn with fire, to set on fire, or to kindle a fire”. In the Christian Scriptures, it is used only in the passive form – a “take off” of the original well known phrase that was used more like “to be set on fire” – as from an outside source. It is sometimes used of passionate response (2 Peter 3:12); sometimes used for the “powerful sensations of grief” (2 Corinthians 11:29). The point I am making is this phrase isn’t simply “hungering sexual expression” – it is a passion to be married in spite of the dangers that persecution presented to them. It was a strong emotional desire from God (the outside source) – hence the passive form.

If we know ourselves to have such a high degree of desire for relational intimacy both emotionally and physically, we should seek marriage (7:8-9). He isn’t arguing in favor of sexual obsession – he is arguing that some KNOW they were meant for marriage and feel incomplete without a partner. It is important to understand your own makeup and fill the needs as God enables. Yet, we are told to find fulfillment IN MARRIAGE, not in SEXUAL EXPRESSION. Sexual activity outside of the context of marriage is a guilt producing trap, with a variety of negative consequences.

God did not call a believer to leave their partner if one came to Jesus after marriage and the other partner did not (7:10-16).

1 Corinthians 7:10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. 12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

Remember that many Roman citizens were USUS or common law married. They hadn’t had any official ceremony, because they couldn’t afford the various pagan superstitions and didn’t have the money to put into the banquet. As a result, many people came to Christ while engaged in a marriage form that was less than completed in their own heart. They were, in essence, in a situation of long term cohabitation without ceremonial completion – but the law afforded them the privileges of marriage “death benefits”. Two Roman stayed together more than a year with the intent of one day having the ceremony – and one came to Christ.

As the new disciple learned of Israel from Bible stories, it became clear through the stories of the Hebrew Scriptures taught in the little house church they attended that God didn’t want Israel to marry outside Israel. Further, when Israel did marry outsiders, God told them to cut those improper marriage bonds that never should have been formed – a split the families (in Ezra). God wanted a pure people, and saw danger for them inter-marrying others in the land of Promise. As such teachings were given, some early disciples in Jesus thought that meant God wanted them to leave their USUS partner – their common law spouse – but He did not. God’s intent was to make this an opportunity to reach out.

Israel and the church are both God’s people in a certain way – but it was inappropriate to use the principle of separation from Ezra in that way – even though the confusion is perfectly understandable.

The proper application of that principle would relate today to only one legal case – that of a “homosexual marriage” – since God has forbidden that altogether. If someone comes to Christ in such an arrangement and wants to follow Christ – that so-called marriage should be Biblically dissolved – since it was never real in God’s eyes. That may mean children are left with a broken home – and that seems harsh. It seemed just as harsh when God ordered it to Israel through Ezra. There simply is no other choice that would not appear to condone something heinous in the eyes of the Lord. If familial marriage of brother and sister or father and daughter become allowed – this also would come under such a ban. If marriage to an animal becomes law, it will also be under such a ban. Marriage should continue between one who becomes a believer after marriage and their non-believing partner – but NOT if that partner is a close relative, an animal, or of the same sex. Those were never marriages according to God’s Word. It isn’t an issue now, but it will be shortly as we present the Gospel to a world being soaked with paganism.

Paul instructed this:

• In every case where marriage can be preserved and relationships can be kept, believers should strive to do so (7:10-11).

• If one is common law married (USUS) or on the way to that state and the couple is not certain they desire to remain together in light of the change in one partner, the believer cannot simply engage another relationship. If they break apart, the believer should prayerfully anticipate the change in their partner (7:11).

• To “other believers” (to the rest I write, v. 12) who were married in a CONFARETTIO or ceremonial marriage, there was little doubt they should be together for life in the Roman mind, but Paul made clear God loves marriage and knows it is best not to dissolve relationship. In fact, if a believer maintains a relationship, even if it is with an unbelieving spouse, it will add blessing to all in the home (7:12-16). In fact, it may bring Christ to the unbelieving partner!

There are a few things that get “mis-taught” from this passage, and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention them, at least in summary form:

First, the section isn’t “just Paul’s opinion” and therefore not part of God’s directive, though some statements clearly are formed based on Paul’s opinion. What do I mean? Some would say that sentences like the one found in 7:12 sound like Paul is “making up Scripture based on his own ideas”:

1 Corinthians 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.

What Paul is saying is this: Jesus didn’t speak about this before in the context of His ministry, but I need to offer more – because I am speaking into the Roman world, not the Jewish one of Galilee and Judea of the time of Jesus. Paul IS speaking the Lord’s Word – but not repeating something Jesus already taught. Don’t be misled: the teaching of remaining with an unsaved partner who is willing to live with the believer in spite of their new commitment to Jesus and the transformation going on inside them is a teaching of God – not simply “Paul’s view” of the situation.

Second, having a husband or wife that is a believer doesn’t get you into Heaven. Being from a “Christian family” is not the same as having a personal commitment to Jesus Christ and His work on the Cross at Calvary. Some suggest 7:14 sounds like a relative’s faith can get you to Heaven; it cannot.

1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband…

Paul is saying that the influence of God’s Spirit is found in the home of a believer. If you work in an office and are the only believer, you bring something of God to that place they would not have if you were not there. God is at work in you, and where you are, God is at work as well.

Third, God did not condemn children born out of wedlock, but commends that children born in His design for a home ARE blessed because of the choice of parents to follow God in the way they establish their home. Some argue the child of a non-wedded union is somehow “cursed” by God because of the end of verse 14:

1 Corinthians 7:14b … for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

Let’s be careful here, because such an attitude can persist long after the theology is corrected. Children are “unclean” in the passage, but in a very specific sense that must be explained:

This is not about “sinfulness”. The term akáthartos is an adjective – a descriptive word that was derived from wine making practices of the ancients. Conditum was a spiced wine that was mixed with other things and customarily served in the poppinae of the period (pubs). Menus found from the period had the term “conditum viatorium” – or “travelers spiced wine”. The opposite word – the antonym – is kathaírō which is translated “clean” wine. It doesn’t mean there is dirt in the mixed and not in the clean. It doesn’t mean one wine is sinful and the other not – “Clean wine” is “free from additive mixtures”, and unadulterated product that only contains what is on the label.

God isn’t condemning out of wedlock children and cursing their lives. Yes, the term “bastard” was an old English word for that child, and it carried a negative sentiment – because society was trying to deter people from inappropriate sexual encounters. At the same time, the passage is meant to say something about the challenge the child will face. Children born to two parents who are their biological forebearers will face fewer “mixing elements” in their life than children who are in any other arrangement. God is simply saying: “When you follow the design I made, things will work better than any other arrangement.” This is proverbial – it is the NORM. It doesn’t mean that there will be no anecdotal exceptions. It doesn’t mean EVERY child in EVERY home EVERYWHERE will do better with EVERY set of biological parent set. It means the design is the intended way, and other ways will add to the MIX of the child. Likewise, the term “holy” is not to be a term packed with religious significance. The term hágios implies something “set apart” and therefore “different, distinguished and distinct”.

I would therefore translate the phrase at the end of 7:14 this way:

“for otherwise there will be an increasing stress on children in the MIXING of them – but with both parents they have the distinction of a specific family.”

If you were a child born out of wedlock, you probably faced specific disadvantages. They were SO significant, that God expressed it would have been better if an unsaved parent raised you in the home with an saved one. That doesn’t mean God doesn’t love you. It doesn’t mean you are less Christian or your walk with God is somehow critically hindered. It may mean it is harder for you to grasp all the depth of meaning of the word “father” when applied to the One in Heaven. It may mean that you faced other specific learning challenges in your walk – but with the Word and Spirit and in surrender to Christ – all things are possible for you.

God’s distinct call for us is found in our birth; we are to be the person God made us (7:17-20).

1 Corinthians 7:17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.

Your salvation doesn’t change all status marks in your life. You are still to be committed to the place God has called you, even if now it is uncomfortable (7:17-20). Paul offered specifics:

In 1 Corinthians 7:17, Paul wrote that God assigned specific parameters to each person’s life. Some were made clear at our birth. Some of that statement in the context of the passage clearly means that God assigned some to be married and others to remain celibate. Another aspect of that verse is that because some came to Christ after marriage but have a partner that does not yet know Jesus, some ministry was “off limits” to them. Clearly they were called to remain with the spouse – even if they didn’t get to do everything they wanted even in ministry for Jesus! They may have wanted to serve in an area that required a saved couple at the helm– but they didn’t have one.

Let’s say it this way to summarize the larger principle: God made choices for us that may not agree with our feelings or what we truly wanted Him to make – but He is Sovereign and I am His. These choices can easily conflict with our feelings – but when I declare Him as my Lord, I subject even my feelings to Him as my Master.

Applied another way, we don’t DECIDE our gender – God already did. Bruce Jenner will die a man, no matter how many operations he gets or how many “woman of the year” awards he receives. I am not being cruel – those who are entertaining his fantasy are being cruel. You are what God made you – period. You may not feel that – and as another human being I want to be sympathetic with your feelings – but that doesn’t make them the guiding force of life. In my ministry, I am sometimes with people who feel like killing themselves – that doesn’t mean they should. I have sat with people who were so hurt and angry they wanted to kill someone else – but their feelings don’t offer a license to act on them. Our feelings, even about ourselves, are inherently untrustworthy. Have you ever reacted out of a passion and then regretted it? We should all remember not to trust how we feel as the final authority.

Let me offer this as but one small evidence: In a thousand years, if Bruce’s remains were found in an archaeological dig, the DNA would reflect that he died a male. Your physical parts are not what make you male – your DNA created in the test tube we call a womb by a scientist we call Jehovah are. “Gender Dysphoria” is a legitimate disease that should be cared for, not appeased by a world bent on removing any sense of control on anyone at any time. That is lawlessness – and its spirit is growing in our country.

Because God made some of the male and some female, some of them born to Jewish parents and others to Gentile – they were additionally confused about how to become what God wanted them to be. Let’s read the verses and then unpack the problem:

1 Corinthians 7:18 Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.

What is the big deal with “circumcision”? Let me explain. In the time of the early church, the message of Jesus was moving from a tiny Messianic movement within Judaism to a transformation movement of God all across the Roman world. The earliest followers of Jesus were Jewish. He was Jewish. As the message spread, it came largely through the hands of Jews. As a result, and aided by some Jews who mistakenly wanted everyone in the Gentile world to see this movement as still something within Judaism, some Gentiles were feeling pressure to enter the Jewish world as part of knowing Jesus. They felt pressured to join Jews in worship and walk because they thought it was closer to God – or at least that is what they were being told by some traveling teachers. Circumcision was the beginning point of entry to a Jewish world that called people back to the Atonement taught in the Torah. Paul wrote letters like that of Galatians designed to counter that thinking.

Here is the point: If you were called to Jesus as a Jew – don’t try to stop being one. Things God has said to Jews and for Jews are YOUR things. If you were called to Jesus as a Gentile – don’t play JEW. Don’t wrap yourself in Jewish garb and try to become something you aren’t because it will somehow be more holy or more powerful. God made you the ethnic background He intended you to be. Dare I say it: Be who God made you. Be that for God’s glory. Stop letting someone tell you that what you are isn’t good enough.

Let me bring it even one step closer. If you are a believer, celebrate your identity as a follower of the Creator. If you are a woman – don’t try to dress like a man, act like a man or imitate masculinity. I am a man – and I totally believe we have enough men in the world. Look like a woman. Act like a woman. Celebrate your womanhood. The world will tell you children are a burden – don’t believe them. Celebrate your womb and intentionally shape a life if God gives you the opportunity. It is a career – I don’t care what the world says. Don’t let the world convince you that being a man’s helper is some kind of DOG WORK – that demeans God’s Word concerning your design. At the same time, you are God’s beautiful creation whether you are 22 or 92 Don’t let the world tell you that your value is found in the outward traits of your body. It isn’t. Become within the person God is making you to be – that beautiful creation that God will take joy in watching and hearing.

That is as far as this lesson can go, so we will pick up the passage in another lesson. As I close, let me offer some words I hope to be encouraging…

Six ENCOURAGEMENTS for the Tempted Christian

First, if you struggle with sexual desires, you are normal. That doesn’t mean you are free to do what you want – it means we are all struggling with you. The battle between the flesh and the Spirit has been going on since the Fall in the Garden of Eden. We don’t need false promises, and we can’t solve it with a cheap-grace that simply “forgives my failures. God calls us to obedience and surrender of every area of life – and this is part of that call. The continued struggle of life in the fallen world is the truth, and part of the Gospel. Deeply rooted in the Gospel is this truth: All are bent toward sexual sin of some sort, because all of us entered the world with fallen DNA and a corrupt nature (Romans 5:12-21). Your struggle is common to us – so you need not feel alone!

Second, sexual attraction is (and will likely long be) a part of your life -BUT that is ok. Coming to Jesus doesn’t change that. The Holy Spirit will soften you and transform your mind – but it will probably take a long time and come slowly into a changing heart. I need to be clear: surrendering to Jesus isn’t guaranteed to automatically and instantaneously take wrong desires away. We must recognize that as long as we are in this body, we stand the chance of fighting this fight. We should not be seeking a “healing” of sexual desires – because though they have been skewed – they are part of our design. In fact, this is true of those who are opposite sex attracted, and yes, those who are same-sex attracted. Jesus can do a work in us to heal us – but there is no Biblical mandate that we will lose these urges quickly any more than there is a mandate that we will stop getting hungry – so don’t hold your breath on a false promise.

Third, Jesus commanded us to flee from any sexual behavior that is not according to His holy design – no matter the context. Biblically speaking, whether this is a “one night stand” borne out of drunken promiscuity or a so-called “loving act” in committed monogamy, sexual behavior outside of marriage is a detestable evil because it is mutiny to the design God made and revealed – period. Because one situation is more acceptable to the world than the other doesn’t make one more acceptable to God. His plan is the right way. Any opposing plan in simply more rebellion – no matter how polite it appears to be to the people of our age. Consider this:

“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around about drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are too easily pleased.” (C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory)

Fourth, you must not accept the premise that your identity is found in your fallen desires. This is one of the true tragedies of the homosexual movement – they are convincing people that their very identity is bound up in their hungers and desires. We must assert anew this truth: You are not defined by your flesh – that is only the home where YOU live. The desires in this body are temporary, and our identity is tied up in Christ forever (2 Corinthians 5:16-17). In the end, Christ will come again, and your journey will be over. You be like him – beyond the clutches of sin, for “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion” (Philippians 1:6).

Fifth, God will redeem every struggle against the flesh for His glory. Sexual attraction can have a divine purpose! It can humble us and make us seek Jesus for the strength to simply get through the day. It can help us become more empathetic toward the struggles and needs of others as they face their sinful desires. It may keep us from becoming Pharisees. It may help keep us in tune with a broken world we are called to reach. It is a mystery, but yet a truth: God is using even your battle with your own sexuality for the good of telling His story through your life (Romans 8:28).

Sixth, the restrictions of your sexuality are an altar on which you can sacrifice something for your Savior in His honor. Obedience entails celibacy. Celibacy requires restraint. Restraint requires denying your biological wiring in favor of your Savior’s smile. There will be deep fulfillment in loving Him more than yourself. He will also use your life in a more wondrous way. Nothing given up for Jesus gets overlooked by Him.

Perhaps it simply all “comes down to listening to the manufacturer before we void the warranty”: Max Lucado in his book 3:16 notes the following about those living in the dead zone: “God, at this very moment, issues invitations by the millions. He whispers through the kindness of a grandparent, shouts through the tempest of a tsunami. Through the funeral he cautions, ‘Life is fragile.’ Through a sickness he reminds, ‘Days are numbered.’ God may speak through nature or nurture, majesty or mishap. But through all and to all he invites: ‘Come, enjoy me forever.’ Yet many people have no desire to do so. They don’t want anything to do with God. He speaks; they cover their ears. He commands; they scoff. They don’t want him telling them how to live. They mock what he says about marriage, money, sex, or the value of human life. They regard his son as a joke and the cross as utter folly. They spend their lives telling God to leave them alone. And at the moment of their final breath… He honors their request: ‘Get away from me, you who do evil. I never knew you’ (Matt. 7:23). This verse escorts us to the most somber of Christian realities: hell” (Max Lucado page 93, 94 – Book 3:16)!

The Designer knows the design, and His Word makes clear what it is.